Fact: penguins are not festive. Don’t be fooled every time you see one stuffed into a garish Christmas jumper on the front of your greeting cards, and join me and my national campaign in returning them to the sender with a ‘must do better’ message attached. Some species live in areas as tropical as the Galapagos Islands, whilst none, whatsoever, live in the northern hemisphere, supposedly the headquarters of Father Christmas’ operations. Every time we see the ludicrous line up of one fuzzy friend between the big man himself and a polar bear part of my zoological soul dies, and…